Here are some samples of fiction that I've written. I guarantee that it
won't be the worst thing that you've ever read on the internet.
- 8
- My first award winner! Well, it was a third place award (Austin Chronicle's 2013 Short Story contest). I won money though, so it counts. It's about a breakup, and I'll leave it at that, since the exact interpretation can be open-ended. This wasn't inspired by any of my breakups in particular, but rather the common way in which they all affected me. Fun note: I inserted a lot of references to the number eight within the story, some more disguised than others. See how many you can spot!
- The Modern Family
- A short story about a really depressed family. It was an attempt to do dark comedy and to do something really strange with the narration. Also, I wrote (and titled) this well before the TV show ever came out. Fun note: I wrote this shortly after reading "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien. The original title was "The Things They Hated".
- Meeting the Neighbors
- A short story about a man who wrongfully became a sex offender and was legally required to go around introducing himself to the neighborhood. Fun note: This was inspired by the scene in The Big Lebowski where Jesus has to do the same thing.
- Battery
- A short story about two brothers facing off in a crucial baseball game. It is very loosely based on my relationship with one of my brothers. Fun note: It is very lightly implied that the victorious brother plays for the Yankees. Because in my stories, the Yankees will always win.
- Harry Potter and The Year Time Forgot
- I loathe the Harry Potter novels. Despite this fact, I read all of them. The reason I did so was to be able to win arguments with people who like the books. By reading the whole series, I had all of the facts. After many arguments where I found myself repeating everything, I decided to write all of them down. What better way to do so then by creating fan fiction that points out everything that makes the books terrible? Please note that I attempted to emulate the style of JK Rowling, and that's why the writing itself is bad. Fun note: Newton Crosby was named after Steve Guttenberg's character in the film Short Circuit.